


A Trip to Wonderland for A Dose of Reality

by ZombieliciousXIII



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alice in Wonderland, Alternate Universe - College/University, Daydreaming, F/M, M/M, Multi, Mutual Pining, Polyamory, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-24
Updated: 2017-04-24
Packaged: 2018-10-23 12:03:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10718991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZombieliciousXIII/pseuds/ZombieliciousXIII
Summary: "I’m going crazy, I’m going fuckin’ bananas, his mind reels,and the final nail in the coffin of his sanity is hammered in when he lifts his dress pants. Frank stares for a moment, in the silence black and white striped socks stare back at him, somehow mockingly,it’s official, I’ve finally lost my fucking mind."Or in which Frank takes a trip to Wonderland to get a does of what reality really has to offer him - namely, what Gerard and Lindsey have to offer him.





	A Trip to Wonderland for A Dose of Reality

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pixiewayro](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pixiewayro/gifts).



> This story goes out to one of my best friends that means the damn world to me, I love you so much Pixie! I hope you enjoy babe tteotl xxoxoo

There’s just something about it, about closing your eyes and letting the world’s cacophonous symphony fade into a low buzz around you, an ever present soundtrack that you can’t ever escape - not that Frank ever wants to, because there’s just something... _grounding_ to the strange musical. Frank’s always needed an anchor to ground him, he’d float away otherwise, he knows. It’s a lazy Sunday morning, his college dorm room silent as everyone he knows is off somewhere doing _something,_ it is the weekend, after all. However, he remains sat on the Lazyboy by his room window, like a lazy feline dazed and enchanted by the all-encompassing warmth of a sunbeam. Just like a cat, it would take nothing short of the world ending to get him to move, and even then that would be debatable.

The events of last night still reel through his mind like a bad movie, like watching a car crash in slow motion, and the feeling of regret curls cold and low in his gut. Frank hears the snake crushing his insides laughing at him, mocking and sinister in its words as it slowly constricts the air right out of his lungs. He deserves this, Frank knows, but even knowing he doesn’t deserve to feel good after what he’d done he still wishes - be it uselessly - to be rid of this horrible feeling. The brunet thinks of the previous night and waxes poetic about his pathetic feelings and irreversible actions, the words his mind rhymes could possibly sound nice to a tune, but Frank thinks he’d cry - or wretch - if he had to speak his feelings aloud - which he finds ironic, really. All Frank really does is sing lyrics about his bleeding heart, but for the first time he finds himself not wanting to divulge just how much he’s let his walls down, doesn’t want to face the aftermath of a once strong castle he’s torn apart; a castle left in rubble because some twisted part of him craves destruction - hates his happiness, no matter how fragile it may be.

He needs this, this peace...needs to get away, even if only for a little.

Frank feels himself drifting, mind giving into darkness when he hears it, and groans.

“Wake up!” A quivering voice squeaks, at first Frank is adamant to ignore it, but then something pinches his arm. “WAKE _UP!”_

Snapping his eyes open, the brunet glares at the familiar face, “Patrick what the fuck-”

Frank stops. Bunny ears. What the fuck?

Shaking his head the young man rubs his eyes, he’s seeing shit, he _has_ to be...maybe he’s still drunk- nope, the bunny ears are still there.

“Patrick, are you and Pete into some new kink or some-” before he can finish, Patrick cuts in.

“We have to go!” The blond’s blue-eyes flick down to a pocket watch and go saucer-wide, “we’re _late!”_

Frank watches as Patrick shoots up off the floor and heads into a forest of trees- wait, trees? _I was just in my dorm room what the fu-_

“COME ON!” Patrick bellows over his shoulder, and Frank finds himself scrambling up onto his feet, following behind the bunny-eared blond.

“Where are we going?!” The brunet finally manages to catch up to his friend - Patrick was never this fast.

“Late, late, _late!”_ Is all Patrick says, frantic, bounding and leaping forward like a, well, like a fucking _rabbit._

The small blond takes a sharp right, and Frank almost loses his footing following him, but manages to catch himself just in time, mind going a mile a minute. He doesn’t recognize a damn _thing,_ the trees they run through make him dizzy, each one painted a different color from the colorwheel, blues, greens, reds and yellows. Vines like claws reach out to Frank as he runs after Patrick, all seemingly trying to trip him up or grab him, but he makes it through - somehow - and is left breathless by the time they come to a clearing.

“‘Trick what the _hell_ is going on?!”

The small blond is about to reply when a boisterous voice exclaims, “you made it!”

Snapping his head to the side Frank sees, “ _Lindsey?_ ”

His heart thrums, last night’s events making him feel sick, and he averts his gaze - he can’t even look her in the eye. He’s a damn coward and knows it.

“Frankie!” She exclaims, running over to the young man and all but tackles him in a bodily embrace - Frank stiffens, how is she not angry with him? “You look just wonderful!” She says after pulling away, holding him at arm’s length to get a proper look at the brunet.

Frank looks down and, okay, seriously what the _fuck?!_ Staring down at his attire the brunet’s dumbfound expression must be _painfully_ clear because Lindsey giggles _._ Instead of his System of a Down shirt and black skinny jeans, he’s now wearing a cornflower blue button up topped with a white waistcoat, black dress shoes and fitted black dress pants. _I’m going crazy, I’m going fuckin’ bananas,_ his mind reels, and the final nail in the coffin of his sanity is hammered in when he lifts his dress pants. Frank stares for a moment, in the silence black and white striped socks stare back at him, somehow mockingly, _it’s official, I’ve finally lost my fucking mind._

“He got dirt on his waistcoat,” Patrick says with a put upon sigh, trying to pat away a smudge of mud on the hem of the alabaster item of clothing.

Frank honestly has to hold back from tackling the blond to the ground and _demand_ answers.

“It gives it character!” Lindsey laughs, grinning like a mad woman.

Frank’s attention snaps back towards the duo talking about him as though he weren’t standing _right there,_ and it doesn’t take much for him to piece together the mania his mind had clearly conjured up; he’s in Wonderland, and if his clothes are anything to go by, Frank is supposed to be Alice. He thinks back for a moment, wondering if he’d ingested any hallucinogenics the night before that had only decided to kick in _now_ , but comes up short. Frank had only drank enough to leave his morals in the dust and destroy a few friendships, but nothing more - unless someone had slipped him something when he hadn’t been looking.

“Okay guys, ha ha, very funny but the fuckin’ prank is over,” Frank says, looking around at the surrounding woods. “Come out guys, prank’s over! Come the _fuck_ out!”

Lindsey and Patrick stare at him; Patrick’s expressive face tells him he thinks Frank may have gone mad, while Lindsey looks absolutely enthralled.

“I love pranks!” She laughs out, mismatched-eyes watching the brunet with glee. “Who are we gonna be prankin’?!”

Frank sighs, “Lindsey, seriously, what _is_ this? I know Gerard’s been obsessed with _Now You See Me_ lately _,_ did you assholes pull some kinda mind-whammy me or something?”

“‘Now you see me’?” Patrick asks and his ears twitch, the fucking things _TWITCH._

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” Frank practically screams, without his permission his hands fly out and grip the damn fluffy white things - they’re props, they _have_ to be. “Take these damned things _off,_ Patrick!”

Patrick yelps, trying to wrestle Frank’s hands off him, but the damn things won’t _budge_ and they’re actually... _really_ soft. Patrick cries out when Frank tugs again, both ears are firmly - and unbelievably - _attached_ to Patrick’s head. Holy shit, this...this is _real_ . This can’t be real, it _can’t be._ Frank releases Patrick’s ears abruptly, feeling guilty when he sees tears brimming Patrick’s ocean-blue eyes, cheeks flushed and lush lips pursed.

“They’re real…” Frank breathes, astonished - disbelieving.

“Of course they’re real, you--you _brute!_ ” Patrick squeaks, fluffy white ears flattened to either side of his head as he tenderly rubs at them. “Why _wouldn’t_ they be?!”

“I’m all for prankin’ Frankie, but yankin’ at Patrick’s ears is just kinda mean….” Lindsey says at his side; Frank looks at her, _really_ looks and realizes her mismatched-eyes aren’t contacts - realizes that they are, in fact, _real._

This is all real, Frank really _is_ in Wonderland and it’s a hard pill to swallow - he feels himself choking. Wonderland is a _fictional_ place in a fucking _fictional story!_ So how? Seriously, _how?!_ He’s dreaming, has to be. This is a dream, it’s the only explanation - the only thing that makes _sense._ Okay, so this is all just a dream, his mind can process _that_ at least. He thinks - hopes. _This is just a fucked up dream, Frankie, it’s okay...you haven’t lost your mind, yet anyway._

“I’m sorry ‘Trick I just...freaked out, I guess,” Frank apologizes, and he finds himself meaning it - even if this _is_ all in his head.

He’ll go along with all this, for now, because he’ll wake up soon enough. This is just a dream, one of those dreams that feel and seem _scarily_ _real_ , but still a _dream_ nonetheless.

_It’s okay, this is just a dream,_ he tells himself over and over again.

Patrick purses his lips for another moment but smiles, “it’s okay, just...just don’t do it again, okay?”

The brunet smiles, building anxiety dissipating at the knowledge that none of this is real, “I won’t, promise.”

And because he clearly has no self-restraint, buries his hand in Patrick’s blond locks. At first the pale-man tenses, but quickly smiles and leans into the touch, humming happily.

“‘Trick loves it when you pet him,” Lindsey says helpfully, and Frank smiles at her - though still not looking her in the eye, it’s the one kindness he can still give her.

“It’s something I do often?”

At that, she barks a laugh, “almost every day!”

Frank smiles at that, because it’s something he also does in his real life; Patrick loves people massaging his head and Frank loves giving them - Pete calls it cute, Frank calls it cathartic.

“The tea’s gonna get cold!” A new, but familiar, voice calls out from beyond the trio.

Turning Frank only just noticed the group of people, all resembling his _friends,_ sat around a mess of cakes and tea cups, plates and cutlery of all colors, shapes and sizes litter the table. His sanity knows he’s probably going crazy, telling him as much over and over, and it’s nothing short _of_ insanity that propels Frank towards the table - this _is_ just a dream after all, so why not indulge a little? Pete’s sat there, long brown ears twitching before he looks up at Frank and grins maniacally, tea sloshing over the brim of his cup as he excitedly greets Frank. Ryan and Brendon are sat together in matching black and white striped shirts, finger laced together as they eat cupcakes in eerie sync, smiling at Frank as well.

“Nice to see you finally made it,” a voice greets just as Frank seats himself at the table beside Lindsey, and jumps.

“Mikey?!” The blond grins as he lazily floats in the air, a sharp toothed grin spreading across his face at the surprise in Frank’s expression and tone.

“The one and only,” the blond purrs, floating above the table with grace, boredly picking up a cookie and nibbles at it, deep blue cat ears twitching. “What took you so long?”

“He was napping,” Patrick supplies from Pete’s side, blushing when the rumpled rabbit-man kisses his cheek.

“Oh? And you didn’t invite me? How selfish, Frankie,” Mikey accuses, a playful glint in bored yellow-eyes as he stretches, mid-air, and continues to float over the table stealing cookies every now and again.

However, looking around the table Frank noticed one missing person, and looks over to Lindsey.

“Where’s Gerard?” Everyone at the table goes silent, staring at Frank in a way that makes him feel...uncomfortable, as though they were shocked by the question.

“I thought you were still mad at him?” Lindsey asks, her top hat askew as she tilts her head to one side.

“Why would I-” Frank stops, that’s right, him and Gerard had fought the night before but that...that was in _reality._ Not here, not in his _dreams_ , so...how would they know?

“Because it happened at the ball!” Brendon supplies, getting nods from everyone at the table - Mikey included.

“Right in front of everyone,” Ryan adds, and every nods again.

He and Gerard fought at a house party, in front of all their friends.

Maybe this was his subconscious taunting him.

Frank’s not too sure he was enjoying this dream anymore….

“It was actually pretty ironic,” Mikey says, still midair, tail flicking away a butterfly. “You two, of all people, _fighting_ ,” he tisks, “idiots.”

Mikey had called him an idiot after the argument, called them _both_ idiots...in reality.

“You stormed out of the ball and it wasn’t even midnight yet!” Lindsey exclaims, blood-red lips pressed together in thought - Lindsey always wore red lipstick, even in reality. It’s her trademark. “We were all sad to see you go, even GeeGee!”

It takes Frank a moment to look away from her crimson lips, they were always so hard to look away from, somehow artistic and seductive as they moved to form words and expressions. However, as Lindsey’s words register in his mind, and he looks at her curiously.

“What do you mean ‘even GeeGee’?”

“He tried to go after you,” Ryan and Brendon answer in unison, glancing to each other with loving grins before nodding, adding, “he _really_ did try!”

“He tried coming after me…” the lilt in his words left the question hanging in the air, but no one answered, knew there was no other answer than _yes._ “But he- Gerard was so _angry_ with me,” Frank tries to comprehend their words, looking at Lindsey with desperate eyes, and feels his heart jump at how close he realizes they are.

This is why he and Gerard fought in the first place.

Even in his dreams Frank’s a sick bastard.

Lindsey’s eyes watch him, vibrant yellow and green studying his face with pursed lips and, after a moment, slowly moves forward, pointedly holding Frank’s gaze. The brunet knows he should back away, _knows_ he has to do the right thing - be a good person, but Frank never claimed to be a _good_ _person_. Lindsey stops a just a breath away from Frank’s face, noses almost brushing, and he feels his breathing stutter. In the silence, he swears he can hear his insanity laugh at him, mocking him for not even _trying_ to back away from Lindsey’s sin coated lips. His heart quickens, eyes flicking from dazzling eyes, bright with something Frank isn’t privy to, and back down to red lips. Suddenly, a manic grin spreads across her rose-painted lips, pearl-white teeth framed by red, and Frank can’t help but stare - lost for words.

“Frank-” she begins, but stops at the sound of trumpets.

Frank jolts, all but jumping out of his skin as he yanks away from Lindsey’s captivating presence. Whipping around he feels his heart plummet, landing somewhere in the vicinity of the flower covered grass floor, standing amongst identical guards looking guards - all looking suspiciously like Bob - is Gerard, red-eyes pinning Frank in place. He’s dressed to the nines in reds of varying shades, looking like royalty straight out of every Shakespearean play Frank’s ever seen or read - simply put, he’s gorgeous. It’s sad, or maybe just painfully true, that this isn’t the first time Frank’s thought of Gerard as anything less than perfect in the privacy of his mind - always just too much of a coward to say the words aloud, as if they’d destroy something sacred if he said them the way he _meant_ them...but now, it’s too late anyway, he destroyed the only friendships that mattered to him more than his will to breathe. Frank hates himself a little for never telling Gerard and Lindsey how gorgeous they are, and now he’ll never get the chance.

“All rise for his majesty Gerard Way, King of Hearts!” One of the may Bob Clones announces, and everyone at the table does rise, and Frank fumbles up onto his feet as well.

Lindsey removes her distressed and wild looking top hat, bowing deeply, and one would think she was doing it mockingly but Frank knew better - knows she’s nothing but sincere when it comes to Gerard, even here, in his dreams. Wild ebony hair - almost elegant in its messy insanity - frames her alabaster face, and Frank can’t help but find it endearing. Looking away from Lindsey Frank sees Gerard walking over, everyone else seated now that the formalities were over, and to avoid drawing attention to himself Frank takes a seat as well - pointedly avoiding Gerard’s gaze that seems intent on burning a hole through the brunet’s very being.

Frank picks at the brownie that somehow appeared on his plate - thank you Mikey - but has no intention of even attempting to taste the sweet treat, so instead he picks at it like a bored child. The twenty-year-old’s actions stutter a few seconds later upon hearing a moan behind him, the reaction his body has to the sound is almost visceral, from the lightning down his spin to the fish-out-of-water thrashing of his heart. Frank knows he shouldn’t look, _knows_ he has to have _some_ self-preservation somewhere within him, but instead Frank finds himself glancing behind him - maybe he was just a masochist, it seems like the only feasible explanation at this point.

“G-GeeGee…” Lindsey whimpers, the king’s lips and tongue mapping out the angle of the manic’s jaw and neck, her head lolls to the side with closed eyes and knitted brows.

The sight goes straight to Frank’s dick and he bites back a groan, about to look away when his hazel-eyes lock with a set of violent red - lock with Gerard’s eyes.

Dream Gerard smirks at Frank with blown pupils and kiss bruised lips - Frank doesn’t think he can take much more of this. Whipping around the brunet feels his face burn, his cheeks undoubtedly about to turn to coal with the heat scorching his skin, but he doesn’t combust...not yet - not into flames at least. Looking around the table no one else seems phased by the blatant display of affection behind Frank, _so it must be something normal, then_ the brunet’s mind reasons, but his moment of calm abruptly ends when Frank’s eyes meet Mikey’s. The anthropomorphic feline smirks at the pseudo-Alice with a look akin to silently saying I-know-you-stole-the-last-cookie, and Frank bites back the urge to tell Mikey to _fuck off_ and instead flips him off - the total mature thing to do, he knows.

Frank more so hears than sees Lindsey returning to her seat beside him, suddenly uncomfortably close now that he can feel Gerard’s eyes on him as he takes the seat to her other side, leaving the Hatter happily oblivious to the tension on either side of her. However, as time went on Frank slowly managed to relax, actually eating and conversing with friends in an easy sense of camaraderie that left him beaming. Being with friends felt as easy as breathing to Frank, he knew - logically - that this was all in his head, nothing more than a dream, but even then he couldn’t help but hold this moment to heart - especially not when seeing happy and dopey couples tell crazy tales of their lives in Wonderland, many of which involve him. The sky dims to a dark navy blue, a near-black blanket littered with stars and fireflies, almost breathtaking in it’s natural serenity. A part of Frank wishes that this really was all real, this colorful insanity, but unlike Alice he never wanted to leave and the thought that he’d wake up sometime soon scared Frank - he wanted to relish in this fantasy for just awhile longer.

“Frankie,” a quiet voice calls out and Frank turns to see Lindsey, ducked in his direction, smiling softly at the young man. “Can we talk?”

The brunet stills for a moment, hazel-eyes moving to look behind the Hatter at Gerard who remains oblivious to their conversation as he laughs about something with...Ray? When the hell did he get here? - and it takes Frank a moment when he realizes Ray is the Pothead Caterpillar, but then again that would explain all the smoke that had begun to hover over the table, making Mikey swipe at the smog every so often. The pressure around his wrist makes Frank look back to Lindsey, her question still shining in vibrant eyes, and the pseudo-Alice hesitates a moment before nodding - maybe he could make things right, it’s _his_ dream, after all.

“Okay, y-yeah...I need to talk to you too,” Frank answers and Lindsey smiles, nodding as she stands - hand still around Frank’s wrist.

Frank and Lindsey move in sync, getting up and leaving the party table, he feels the prickling of eyes on him at the back of his neck, and despite his best efforts Frank looks over his shoulder only to meet Gerard’s hardened gaze - it’s then Frank feels like a piece of shit. Or at least, he would have, had it not been for the shadow of something else - something Frank couldn’t quite name - darken Gerard’s crimson-eyes. Frank feels a pressure on his hand and looks down, his fingers laced with Lindsey’s, and meets the young woman’s mismatched-eyes - a sense of calm overcoming him at the reassurance in her action. The brunet follows the pseudo-Mad Hatter through the woods, coming to a small clearing overrun by strange curling purple weeds and flowers, chairs overtaken by vines and covered in leaves of season’s past, all sat in front of an eccentric looking Hat of a house - no, really, the damn house was _shaped like a damn tophat._

“Your house?” Frank guesses, chuckling when Lindsey grins and nods proudly.

“Yup!”

In a strange way, it made sense - as much sense as this madness of a dream could, anyway - that Lindsey would live in such a weird home, it suited her endearingly eccentric mind. The red-lipped woman opens the front door to a home cluttered by trinkets and hats of varying shapes, sizes and colors - the sight almost made Frank bark a laugh, replace the hats with basses and other strange instruments, and it would have mimicked Real Lindsey’s dorm room. The duo enter the home, and Frank admired the space, from the almost somehow endearing hoard-like feeling, to the spiraling metal staircase leading up to the second floor.

“Come upstairs, I wanna show you something!” Lindsey says excitedly, but despite her happiness, Frank feels his stomach sink as she takes his hand, yanking him along with her.

This was far too similar to the night at the party, the night he ruined his friendship with the two people he loved most in the world, and for a moment Frank considered refusing to follow after her - a part of him screaming to just plant his feet in the creaking floorboards and _not move._ However, Frank did move, _did_ follow behind Lindsey if only because he swore he’d fix things - make things right, if only for his own sanity. The seclusion of her room made Frank feel as though he were about to vibrate right out of his damn skin, this scene ringing far too similar in his mind to the night of the party, from the way she left him standing aimlessly in the middle of the room, to the way...shit, to the way she did just this.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” Lindsey asks, holding a silver locket in her hands. “GeeGee gave it to me yesterday, but for the life of me I can’t get in on!” She laughs, manic eyes searching his for a moment, the smile on her crimson lips softening slightly.

All Frank can think is ‘ _don’t...don’t ask me to-’_

“Could you help me put it on?”

And God fucking dammit if he didn’t see it coming, his subconscious torturing him all over again by replaying the scene from the night before - wasn’t making this mistake once more than enough? Weak as ever, Frank just silently nods and accepts the locket, telling himself that this was okay...he knew what was going to happen and he’d be _damned_ if he didn’t make amends for what he’d done in reality. Lindsey twirls around with flourish, taking off her top hat and places it atop the bed with care before lifting a majority of hair up, the pale expanse of her neck framed by loose strands of inky locks in a tantalizing way that just wasn’t _fair._

_‘Get a grip, Frank, make this right!’_

The brunet carefully slips the necklace is chain around her frail neck, clasping the lock into place, hands lingering longer than necessary before pulling away and Frank knows he’s the scum of the earth for it, but for the life of him can’t help but feel the familiar coil of warmth in his chest. Frank watches as Lindsey lowers her dark mane, turning around to face him with a slender hand over the piece of jewelry, and smiles at him.

“Isn’t it gorgeous?” She asks, voice but a soft whisper, a secret between only them.

Frank swallows thickly and nods, this is it...he has to make it right.

Opening his mouth to speak, the brunet’s words die on his tongue the moment Lindsey’s hand comes to rest on his jaw, and for a moment it feels like the world has slowed on it’s axis - the world no longer a thing that exists in this moment. Hazel-eyes watch as the young woman leans forward, sinfully red lips a breath away from his own, and his heart splits into two; he _has_ to do the right thing for once in his damn life - no matter how hard it may be. Turning his head away, Frank’s eyes lock with the floorboards of Lindsey’s room.

“L-Lindsey, we...we can’t, I can’t do this to Gerard, he’d-”

“He’d what?” A voice questions, and Frank feels his heart fall to the floor.

Whipping around the brunet stares, guilt weighing him down like the weight of the world had suddenly landed on his shoulders.

“G-Gerard-” Frank stutters out, body cold and searing under the man’s gaze.

“I’d what, Frank?” The firetruck redhead questions, stepping forward. “Tell me what I’d do.”

The young brunet swallows, the lump in his throat almost choking him as tears burn in his eyes, oh God...even when wanting to make it right Frank _still_ seemed to fuck everything up. Will he ever _not_ be a fuck up?

“Y-You’ll hate me,” Frank all but whimpers out, screwing his eyes shut unable to face either of them. “Please don’t- _fuck_ \- please don’t hate me, Gerard...Lindsey, God _please_ don’t hate me...I-I’m sorry!” He cries, a pathetic hiccup escaping him, but stills upon feeling gentle hands cup his face.

Frank’s eyes snap open, shock keeping him frozen as his eyes meet Gerard’s red-eyed gaze, “why would I ever hate you?” He asks, voice kind but so torn it almost makes Frank tremble.

“We would never hate you, Frankie,” a voice - Lindsey - promises from behind, slender arms come to wrap around his middle, full lips grazing against the side of his neck and the brunet can’t help but shiver at the feeling.

“But I...you and Lindsey,” Frank tries, but words fail him when he needs them the most, needs to make them _understand_ that he’s so fucking _sorry._ “I love you...I love you _both,_ more than just friends and I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to kiss her, I didn’t- I didn’t mean to betray you, Gerard! I just...I’m so fuckin’ sorry!”

Frank’s wails but his tears are gently silenced by the redhead, “we know, Frankie,” Gerard says, no judgement or bitter hate, just...kindness - understanding.

Frank’s eyes flutter closed when Gerard leans forward, breath hitching when he feels soft lips kiss way his tears, “we would never hate you Frank, because we...Lindsey and I, _both_ love you, too.”

It’s a dream, right then and there Frank knows reality would _never_ be so kind to him, after awaking this would all be gone and thus gives in when he feels Gerard press his lips against his own...knowing he would never have this after waking.

“We love you,” Gerard repeats, a mantra whispered to the brunet every time their lips part, words reverent as the redhead kisses his lips and jaw, eyelids, and tear streaked cheeks.

“We’ve always loved you, Frank...we always will,” Lindsey says against his neck, and the burnet mourns the loss of her arms, but upon opening his eyes Frank drinks in the sight of her so close to him. “No matter what, that will never change baby,” she swears, leaning in to press heavenly sin against his lips.

Where Gerard was gentle and patient, Lindsey was persistent and passionate; lips firm against his, tongue slipping in to explore the expanse of Frank’s mouth, no shame or hidden desire...it was all there for Frank to take in. Pulling apart, Frank was almost breathless, hazel-eyes flicking and searching between the two people his heart yearned for the most in the universe.

“I love you,” he gasps, voice hoarse. “I love you both _so much._ ”

Gerard smiles, bright and heartfelt, as does Lindsey.

“Ti amo,” Gerard whispers, leaning in to kiss him once more, this time deeper.

Lindsey wastes no time taking the redhead’s place when their lips part, and whispers against kiss-bruised lips, “ti amo, bella.”

The brunet feels his body suddenly go heavy, shaking, and for a moment he’s terrified...terrified of what this sudden feeling might mean.

“I-I don’t want to leave,” he cries, clutching onto the duo before him, fists buried in brightly colored clothes. “Please, I want to stay here, with both of you…”

Gerard’s hand cups the right side of his face while Lindsey takes the left, and Frank instinctively leans into their touch, his heart shattering knowing this was all coming to an end.

“You must go, bella,” Lindsey says, voice almost as saddened as his own.

“The world is not done with you yet,” Gerard adds, thumb stroking his jaw lovingly. “Things are not what they seem, look _deeper_ and you will understand.”

“What do you mea-”

Frank gasps, body jolting awake and almost causes him to fall off his chair, hands clutching to dear life on instinct to the first thing they touch, in this case - as Frank looks down to realize - is a book; a battered copy of Lewis Carroll’s _Alice in Wonderland,_ the paper cover crumpling under Frank’s shaking fists. Releasing the innocent item, the brunet tries to calm his trembling body, only to then notice the tears running down his face and quickly wipes them away with jerking motions. It was all a dream...of course it was, he knew that the moment it all began and yet...it was all so damn _real,_ Frank wanted to believe it to be something more tangible than what logic told him it to be; wanted the touch of Gerard and Lindsey, their love for him, to be _real_ more than anything.

But again, reality would never be so kind.

A pounding sounds once again, making the brunet all but jump out of his skin, and he sighs...so that’s what had woken him up - for a moment Frank loathes the person behind the barrier, cursing them for taking away the seconds of happiness he’d believed to be real, if only for a moment.

The banging is relentless and Frank’s anger consumes him as he yells, “I’m fucking _coming!_ Christ! _”_

Setting the book aside, Frank trudges to the door, the pounding still coming and tore at Frank’s last nerve. Unlocking the barrier, the brunet yanks open the door, a string of colorful words at the ready, but die on his tongue the second he’s met by hazel-eyes.

“Gerard,” the names come out of him as though he’d been punched, ice water suddenly coursing through his veins.

The redhead says nothing as he pushes past the brunet, Lindsey entering the brunet’s room right after her boyfriend, and Frank knows what’s coming - expected it really, only surprised that it took them until the next day. However, despite knowing what was about to happen, it didn’t quell the fear and heartbreak he could already feel tearing through him.

“Gerard I-” Frank tries, immediately stopping when the redhead’s hand shoots up to stop him.

“Why did you run away?”

“W-What?”

“Last night,” now it’s Lindsey who demands, “why did you run away?”

This, he didn’t expect.

“Because I kissed you!” Frank exclaims, incredulously. “I betrayed Gerard, a-and you and I-”

“Says who?” Gerard interrupts, eyes fixed on the brunet.

“I...I did...” Frank says, the words an unsure question more than an answer.

“I thought so,” Lindsey huffs, suddenly crowding Frank against the closed door, pushing him right up against it before attacking him with a relentless - and almost desperate - kiss.

Despite himself, Frank finds himself kissing back just as good as he gets, a groan escaping him when she bites down on his lower lip as though to make a point, and pulls away far too soon for the brunet’s liking.

Breathless, Frank looks between them, “but-”

“But nothing, Frank,” Gerard cuts in, far closer than he had been, hand lacing into the young man’s shaggy chocolate locks. “You don’t get to tell us how we’d feel.”

“But I-”

“You did what we’ve been hoping you’d do for fucking _years,_ Frank,” Lindsey says, the exasperation in her voice contradicted by the fondness in her eyes.

“Years?”

“Yes, years,” Gerard clarifies, voice far softer and kind now, leaning in. “God dammit Frankie, you’re smart but sometimes so fuckin’ dumb I wonder how the _hell_ you’ve made it this far.”

Frank knows he should be insulted to some degree, but his mind’s frantic trying to understand what the _hell_ is happening, only for every thought in his mind to die in their tracks the moment Gerard’s lips meet his. Frank kisses back instantly, no hesitation and Gerard clearly appreciates the openness, delving deeper, slow and methodical in his tongue’s exploration of Frank’s mouth only to pull away when the brunet swears he’s about to pass out from lack of oxygen - when had he stopped breathing?

“I-I’m dreaming,” is all Frank can manage out, dumbstruck; that was the only real explanation.

However, a smack to the face - courtesy of Lindsey - reinforces that, no, this _is_ his reality, as insane as it may seem.

“Still think you’re dreaming?” Gerard asks, a wolfish grin stretching across talented lips.

“N-No...I guess not,” Frank breathes out, staring between them for a moment. “You’re serious about this? Y-You’re not just...just messing with me?”

Lindsey and Gerard almost look hurt by the question, “Frank, we’d _never_ mess with your heart like this, _ever_.”

“Nor would we mess with our _own_ hearts like this,” Gerard adds, thumb stroking Frank’s jaw eerily similar to Dream Gerard.

Frank feels his hands trembling, chest tight with a new sensation that almost consumes him whole, oh God…this is all real, isn’t it?

“Frankie, baby, why are you crying?” Lindsey gasps, hands immediately on the shorter young man to calm him.

Frank barks a laugh, wet and breathless, “I-I’m just...I’m just so fuckin’ _happy_ , I can’t believe this is all...that this is all _real._ ”

Gerard smiles, the look in his hazel-eyes making Frank’s heart work overtime to keep him alive, “well then....why don’t we prove to you just how _real_ this all is?”

Lindsey grins, cat-like and just as mischievous, hand reaching past Frank to lock his room door, “I like the sound of that.”

And if Frank nearly swallows his tongue at the lust drunk looks clouding their eyes directed at _him,_ well, no one says a word about it.

It isn’t until a week later, that Frank sees the note while slotted comfortably between a slumbering Gerard and Lindsey, both naked at his sides. Flipping through his copy of _Alice in Wonderland_ he stops, the final page of the book that had once been blank now held a message written in messy scrawl that almost made the brunet’s heart stop; _We hope we helped, even our Frankie is hopeless sometimes and needs a nudge in the right direction; we all do! And remember, you’re always welcome in back to Wonderland! - Love everyone xoxo._ Frank stares, dumbstruck and disbelievingly at the letter, but the red kiss mark that he swore would unmistakably match Lindsey’s lips only sealed it, he...he really _had_ been to Wonderland….

“Frankie?” A tired voice mumbles out, and Frank only _just_ manages to keep himself from jumping in surprise. “Whatchya doin’?” Lindsey asks, turning over to wrap an arm around his middle.

Frank opens his mouth to speak, but stops short, and instead smiles down at the young woman.

“Just realizing that a trip to Wonderland gave me the dose of reality I needed.”

A snort sounds to Frank’s other side, a now awake Gerard propping himself up on a hand and grins lazily at the brunet, “that sentence somehow holds a sense of irony I’m too tired to explain.”

Frank barks a laugh, setting the book aside and leans in to kiss him, “well, since when have I ever really made sense?”

The redhead chuckles, “true.”

“But that’s why we love you,” Lindsey pipes up, leaning up to kiss both her boyfriends. “Now, since we’re all up...anyone want some waffles?”

Frank chuckles, “God yes.”

The trio make their way out of their - now shared - bed in their new apartment, and make their way to the kitchen within the humble studio. A morning of lazy kisses and caresses, mumbled words of love between sips of coffee, and all of it was nothing short of perfect; Frank has never felt more happy to be back in reality where this all - somehow - became his life, become his _reality,_ and all the brunet could think was.

‘ _Thank you, Wonderland.’_


End file.
